Two words that never help: "Calm down."
Your partner knows that they're tense. Nervous. Anxious. They know that they're likely to pass that feeling on to you by contagion.
But the objective is to do the reverse. To stay calm and still and allow them to hook into that. Maybe you just stand and listen to the music for a while. Perhaps a weight change or two, so that she doesn't worry that she's missing something, or to tell him that you're connected and you're there, and that he's going to know where you are at all times. A non-vocal reassurance. Give them your calmness as a gift. Don't demand it in an order.
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